Coming Out!

How’s it going?  I now have myself floating around with nothing to see or to do.  That is rather unproductive, even for me.  Where do we go from here?

I have noticed in my life that I seem to flip between different ways of seeing the world.  If I should be looking at a perceptual illusion, I can often easily flip from one picture to the other.  Looking at an illusion which asks me to determine the length of a line, I automatically assume that they are the same because I’ve seen so many.  Currently Facebook has had a rash of moving images; just hit like and comment move.  The image is moving already.

I am married to an individual and am the daughter of an individual who truly believed that science and math were the only way to describe the world.  My mother and I follow the belief that there is some force greater than us in the world that plays an active role here and now; my mother called that force God, I have changing definitions of it.  Like the perceptual illusion situation, I move back and forth.

I also like to change photos - a little

 

 

For the past 61 years of my life, in one way or another, I have been cared for.  I have been protected from the harsh realities of life.  While this has been enjoyable, it has also taught me that I must rely on others for my success and prevented me from having to learn how to cope by myself.  I have reached the time in my life when that is no longer enough.

I am left floating around being too scared to come out of my mind into the actual world.  That isn’t exactly true.  Since I was a teenager, off and on, I have exhibited a strong ability to listen to people.  As part of that listening, I often find myself making suggestions as to how they could improve whatever facet of life they are currently having a problem with.  Often it is a matter of reframing the information they already have or drawing on years of reading.  Sometimes it is doing something for them that they can’t do themselves.

The following is to me a very obvious example. I recently listened to a T.V. news program on the decline in the numbers of truckers available as the baby boomers retire.  The current generation has fewer numbers available to replace the current generation.  That generation therefore is in the driver’s seat (no pun intended).  Find out the answers to three questions: what do current drivers like about the lifestyle, what really irritates them, and evaluate the upcoming generation’s requirements in a job. Market to the right age group (high school probably) the positives and change the negatives in the industry.  It was done successfully in the tech world years ago.  It is being done in the various trades now.  The goal is to find the high school students that like the lifestyle.  Government help in the same areas as are being given to both the trades and medical doctors (for rural areas) will help.

As stated above, I have something that I enjoy immensely and have done very quietly and unobtrusively.  I also have something to look at; my goals.  My goals are very encompassing.  I want to live near my children, which means moving from one side of Toronto to the other.  I like living with access to the country but would appreciate being close to the comforts of the city. At my age, I want security for the rest of my life for myself and my family. Security to me means complete freedom from financial concerns.  I am oriented to increasing my health not vice versa.  I would like to help people on a one-on-one basis as well as write (either fiction or long distance helping).  Ultimately I would like to find a way to activate a dream I have had, to find a way or a place where all individuals can be united and accepted completely regardless of any division.

Okay here I am.  I have conceived of an image for myself.  I have some goals.  I have some sort of focus although I can also see the other side of a situation.  I even have a desire to change (that after all is what this blog declares).  Challenge: I don’t believe that I am capable of doing any of this for myself (others no problem).  After a lifetime of letting others take care of me, I am having real difficulty with the concept of taking care of myself.  One day I suspect I will have no choice – no matter how much I am loved by my family.

 

My Lightening Heart - energy with love originally designed by Laura Wildman

 

Is there anyone out there who feels the way I do?  Perhaps there is someone who has some answers.  Thanks for reading.